This includes:
- Traveling to Colorado Springs to live in a hotel and study discipleship
- Going home to Tennessee earlier than planned to further my relationship with my Jay
- Spending yet another summer nannying with my beloved Brenton and Adelynn
- Getting engaged in an airplane
- Packing and moving ALL of our possessions to Charleston, SC
- Saying goodbye a second time in 8 months to my family in Nashville
- Getting married in a Post Office
- Dedicating our marriage to The Lord in a homeless shelter
- Starting over again in a new city
- Searching and searching and searching for a job, any job
- Finding jobs that must have been created by the devil
- Learning this is a season in a city specifically for learning
I am positive this list could be faaaaaaar longer, but these are the basics. I, we, have done a lot that looks incredibly random and wishy-washy. Often our families have thought and expressed, "Just make a decision and settle down."
But why?
There have been plenty of moments in 2013, when decisions on this list were made in my own judgement without consulting God. However, I am His child, His creation, He gets the glory when He takes my stupid decision and uses it for His good. Nonetheless, I like to believe I have worked very hard to follow as closely to His guidance as possible. I believe He has had yet to call me to "settle down and make a decision." So why would people tell me to do something God has not yet revealed??
I am seeking to find His calling in my life. I am seeking His desire for my marriage. I am seeking whole heartedly in hope to please Him, even when it hurts and even when I do not understand.
So what is it that I did not do in 2013??
I did not give up...
Galatians 6:7-9 (NIV)
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked! A man reaps what He sows. The one who sows his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up!!
My life has always seemed like a whirlwind of crazy decision after crazy decision. I understand and have heard those who mock me and my difference, but the longer I travel down this road, the more confidence I gain: I have not given up! I have lived and seen more than I could have ever dreamed. I thought I would travel Europe, I haven't yet, but I have seen God's face in the everyday life He has already given me, and it has been a life changing experience.
I am so joyful in what God has shown me in this season. People may not understand; they are vocal and expressive about it typically. But I can't imagine that when Billy Graham was first following God's crazy guidance, that people were always supportive, and He's touched more lives for Christ than anyone in the history of time.
I have done a lot in 2013, and I may never turn out even a tiny fraction of as gifted as Billy Graham, but I take the mocking as a sign I am following the right direction.
I am most joyous in what I have not done in 2013:
I have not given up...
