In my mind, today is just another day hanging out with my sister, Molly Wright [figuratively of course since she is about 18 hours away]. I smile to myself- at 19 years old, however many years ago, I remember thinking, "Will we ever be friends who are so close that I would tell her my secrets??" I have to laugh, because I would have never thought that at 22 she would step back into my life and play such an amazingly large part in the restoration of my life with God. Now at 24, I look back on a conversation we have had many times in our ever growing friendship-- "Does God have a sense of humor??" Why yes, He does!? No worries, I have a pretty serious explanation to back my argument up... Plus, I know at least she will get a kick out of his post...
Keep in mind while considering my experiences-- I prayed to God this week that in exchange of my voice toward idol speech & any escaping to my comfort of calling home to complain or talk things through, I would open my mind and heart to new ideas and concepts to get closer to Him.. It's about as humorous as praying for patience- if you ever have, you know exactly what I am talking about--
Example 1:: Monday morning first thing is always corporate worship held in the "ballroom" here on campus- as per usual there was singing, people praying, just like maybe a Sunday morning worship service in church. All sounds normal and completely INSIDE my box, right?? I am comfortable- God is setting the stage, He smiles down and suddenly flips the mystery card over and there it is- one of my biggest questions and follies in faith:: healing. The prayer warriors in the room claim they all feel as though there is healing that needs to be interceded and prayed for-- whaaaa..!? I am not comfortable any longer. They call up everyone who feels they need healing, whether it be physical, mental or emotional- just healing. Oh, Lord!! My heart laughs- literally!! All I could think and feel is my heart pulling, saying, "you cut me a deal-- you wanna hold your end or not??" Alright- here's the ledge, close my eyes and step off in great-- I mean huge-- faith.. The group goes around, they say, "if you know this cry of healing need, come intercede and pray for and with these brothers and sisters of yours.." My heart pulls, "you ready??" WHAT!? Um, God you're mistaken, I said I would be open minded, not act in the uncomfortable situation. --again, laughter & "you cut me a deal-- you wanna hold your end or not??" Dagnabbit - I do - ughhh.. A father from the campus stands in the gap for the children [theres a bug going around]- there's that silly pull again- how many times has it crossed my mind when I was holding a sick child in my arms to pray for healing?? What about when they handed me little 5 month old Webb when he was wheezing because his acid reflux had gotten so it had begun to erode his esophagus?? I broke before God and asked Him to heal that beautiful little person in my arms- now he's a beautiful little man of 3 years and 5 months!! So, I closed my eyes and stepped off the ledge.. God certainly has a sense of humor- be open minded, Jess 😉..
Example 2:: Again, corporate worship in the ballroom- only now the scene is set for this morning- a few short hours ago. After a whirlwind moment with God yesterday that left me feeling redeemed and whole, I was far more open to singing with truth in the songs. A member of the community came forward, you could see torment on his face. He and his family just arrived back in The Springs last week after 6 years in Sudan- because they and their intern were Americans, the Sudanese government gave them 48 hours to get out of the country [for safety, & the last thing the Sudanese wanted was to hurt an American missionary family, then of course greet the Navy Seals at their doorstep]. This father, informed us that the YWAM members left there now are all Sudanese or Egyptian- a number of them have now been taken in for interrogation- only God knows what that can entail. The correspondence has gone quiet to keep themselves safe from whatever could be listening. He was commissioning his community to stand in the gap- stand in the gap and pray for those who are part of his YWAM family and may be persecuted, maybe even murdered for their stance next to God. Wow, God- thank you that I can stand here in the western United States of America or back home in the Midwest, the South, and everywhere far in near within our boarders and sing to a Father I cannot see, but truly believe in. No persecution here can even stand up against that from the other side of the world. People prayed, people sang, I am still comfortable. Then, God came back in, grinned and flipped over the mystery card of uncomfort:: dancing!! What!?! Dancing!? First off God, was it not you that created me to white, and bore me into a baptist family of Bear & Sal!? A woman grabbed the mike and quoted scripture- we can dance on the head of evil.. There it is, scriptures that may be sound and righteous, but definitely on the outside of my box. God laughs and yet again squares my heart up in his sights and asks- "you cut me a deal-- you wanna hold your end or not??" Now was it like big, fancy or even noticeable?? I was not the ballerina at the front of the room [her name is Ella, I used to think she was too much and maybe crazy, now I love her because she's just enough and a little crazy enough to make my soul smile at God's creation]- but I can say with shy remark- I closed my eyes, stood on that ledge with God- took a deep breath and stepped off the ledge. --confession though:: I totally borrowed the directors' 15month old for parts of it [baby dancing is inside my box- ask Adelynn Kate, we dance to princess music all the time]. God most certainly has a sense of humor-- have an open mind Jessie Rae 😉!!
You may be asking yourself how I am taking this... In laughter, of course. Why not?? It's funny... Dare I say hilarious?? I use this word based on my lecture from yesterday. The point of this week is Biblical Worldview- asking some of the crazy uncomfortable "don't rock the boat" questions [biggest one yesterday- do those who never hear the name of Jesus, go to heaven or hell?? --whoa, right??].. But yesterday in the final hour she brought about the beauty of redemption and that while there are many many questions that only God answers, we can still know truth- we are redeemed in Christ. She explained that the word used for sacrifice in Hebrew (or Greek maybe- either way you get my point) is "Hilastérion" [classroom reference: Romans 3:25] - this is the root of the word hilarious. When we take a step of redeeming faith, God is hilariously happy with us!! While sacrifice is by no means hilarious most of the time [Christ's crucifixion being one that is certainly not funny, but serious & life changing], I can't help but find my sacrifice of speech in order to seek open mindedness this week-- hilarious!!
All I can do is hold my head in the palm of my hand, shake my head, laugh out loud, and look up at Molly and state: "God most certainly has a sense of humor.."
--only 149 days left--
💛jrc
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